worship?

I’m actively involved in the worship ministry in my church. I play the piano and lead services. I file, copy, record copyright details, work with the sound guys, play around with multimedia. I’m perhaps too involved. That’s why I take a lot on board and analyse things happening around me (maybe too much at times.)

I especially am conscious of the use of the word ‘worship’ and how it’s used. To most in my church it means a specific time when we gather to sing to God and praise him. To others it is more personal and intimate—about ‘meeting with God,’ ‘sensing his presence,’ and ‘blessing him in my spirit.’

I’m also conscious of how my church has moved away from songs and words that speak to mission, corporate change, kingdom living, and a celebration of the grace of God in our world to songs and words that are more generic—praising God for creation, blessing him for his goodness to us, giving thanks for personal salvation and the buzz we get from knowing we are ‘his.’ No hard-hitting calls for justice, mercy or peace. No challenge to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our community. No affirmations of equality. No inclusiveness.

We have tweaked the sound system to give a high quality sound, auditioned the singers to make sure they fit not just in talent but in looks that are not too far off in left field, and have pumped up the stage lights to make sure the focus is in the right place.

Then we hear talk about new programs to draw people in—excersise programs, seniors’ programs, kids programs, a new men’s program (‘Valiant Men’? Honestly, what kind of name is that for a men’s ministry?) . . . ‘Bring them in, they’ll see how good we are, and they’ll come to Jesus.’ The question is not ‘What would Jesus do?’ but ‘What DID Jesus do?’ (Thanks, Shaine Claiborne.)

There’s no doubt in my mind that Jesus attracted people, but he knew it was the miracles and sensational stuff that brought in the crowds. It wasn’t his message of ‘Die to yourself,’ ‘Follow me,’ or ‘Forsake all else.’ That’s why he told those he healed not to tell anybody. He purposefully didn’t want the focus to be on the signs and wonders, but on the kingdom which was near. That’s why he hung out in the countryside and in small towns, not big-noting himself in large cities or prominent places. That’s why he embraced the sinners, prostitutes, tax gatherers, and didn’t set out to make a name for himself amongst the religious elite. In the end, the crowd rejected him as their king because he didn’t fit with their required qualifications and wouldn’t guarantee them health and prosperity. . . .

So we worship a God who blesses us, calls us by name, gives us what we want, grants us peace, and shares with us the beauty of his creation. Oh yeah, and sends his son to dies for us so we won’t have to worry about hell. We sing songs, raise our hands, cry out to him ‘Hallelujah, we bless you, Lord.’ Our guitars are in tune, drums are spot-on, piano is smooth and jazzy, singers are coordinated and hit all the right notes, and the lights are a just the right level to inspire the 97% of congregants in the pews.

Insipid, watered-down, self-serving, bless-us-and-nobody-else Christianity (or as postmodernegro calls it ‘Xianity.’)

I know there’s so much more than this. God wants me to live in his kingdom here, today. He wants me to do the work of his kingdom now, living with the poor and forsaken, the unlovely, healing in his name, giving of myself and what I have without thought, believe that his reign here and now matters so much more than whatever happens on Wall Street, in Hollywood, or at the mall.

He wants me to do what Jesus did—love, give, serve. I don’t think there are any simple answers to my own situation. Jesus calls and I must follow, yet demonstrating to my church family my love for them and respect their understanding of these things. It’s not easy to live the kingdom of God anywhere, especially in a Church.

But God calls. Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.

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